So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
