Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
