the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Success! We fucked roommates!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
