shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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