hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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