My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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