I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
