Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
