i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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