What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
