so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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