Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
