yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
