Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
