so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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