youre lurking in front of me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
