Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You're like the curious george of whores
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
