3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
