I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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