Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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