Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
