Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
false alarm, still single
Randomize
