Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
