life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Operation Purity has been aborted
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
