She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
