After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How does one acquire holy water?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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