I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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