It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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