Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
