woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
