so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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