planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
