Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
