READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
