So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
