So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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