i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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