Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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