Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
