dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
