Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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