I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
