OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
