covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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