I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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