Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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