Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
