So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can Purell be used as lube?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
