She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
