So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
