She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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