I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize