Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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