There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I didn't notice because vodka
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
