You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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