No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
