I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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