so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
