hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize