i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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