Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
