Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
