no. you can't hotbox the world.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
