Where is the hickey?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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