Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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