I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize