You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
