one two three fourrrrnication!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
