I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
