Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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