So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
