I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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