Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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