is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
wat bout pragnant strippers??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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