You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize