ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
